chicks, pants, showing it all, dancing


See the Shadows of Innocence and Sanity

a shadow of the day

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(the round table) About the Round Table, What
chicks, pants, showing it all, dancing
About the Round Table.

They don’t talk about what they’re really doing, coming to this place so often. For something that was only supposed to happen once a week, they’ve become dependent on it more than they ever thought possible. It distresses Sin more than he would like to admit, knowing that he comes to this little group so often when he could be anywhere else. When he could be spending time with the love of his life, telling her all of his secrets instead.

Alex spends half of each time they gravitate to this little room on the other side of campus staring out of the window, unnerved and awkward. He can hear them over his shoulder, murmuring and telling stories about how they’ve done this or seen that. He wonders vaguely what Luca’s doing, if the 5 hour difference has her lying abed and sleeping, or if she’s as restless as he’s been without someone beside her in bed. He refuses to think that maybe she’s sleeping with someone else instead, that she’ll have left him once his stay drifted from just a handful of days to this long month of inclement weather and infrequent phone calls at 3 in the morning.

Nix keeps talking, though he doesn’t think anyone has actually listened to a word he’s said all evening. He’s honest with himself—he comes back night after night in hopes that he’ll find an answer to his problems, that he’ll forget that he’s a selfish bastard to treat Liam and Shaylee the way he does. Nisha’s humoring him, he’s sure of it, when she nods along with his story about something involving sand, paint, a croquet mallet and 2 hours of film. But he can’t seem to make himself shut up and head back to his dorm where his girl will be lying in bed waiting for him, or head off campus to where his boy will be busy, sure, but will make time for his weary boyfriend.

Louise doesn’t say much of anything at all, despite the lack of direction the conversations have. More than anything else, she’s beginning to understand what makes these people tick, why they come back to this ragtag group therapy session. They have so much they need to tell, so many secrets that they cannot tell the ones in their life that they love. She watches as Nisha grabs Alex’s hand and drags him away from where he stands alone at the window to share the loveseat with her, one hand rubbing gently at his close-cropped hair. Sin too, leaning against Nix’s knee, seems to be finding his groove here. They’ve become friends, though they have yet to realize it, and they need each other more than they’ve needed anyone else to this point.

She makes a note in her margins about how successful this has been, even after so short a time. She hates to think that this will end in only a few weeks more, leaving these young people adrift again without their support group.

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