chicks, pants, showing it all, dancing


See the Shadows of Innocence and Sanity

a shadow of the day

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chicks, pants, showing it all, dancing
About Nix.

It was two glorious weeks of no worries. Of no cares and nothing to make them rush along. 2 wondrous weeks, albeit wet and short, of visiting Italy and Greece, where Nix and Shay had a break from their reality and created a new one. And though they created this new reality unwittingly, the consequences grew.

It started with an easy camaraderie so long ago, Nix feels they have known each other forever. That feeling kept growing until there was never a moment where they could not be together and a part of each other and friends. They were safe together because, although Shay liked boys, Nix also liked boys. And it was enough to know they were friends that could cuddle and show affection like some couples would and there not be anything more than the kinship and affection afforded by their platonic closeness.

It all changed, somewhere along the way. Something had shifted while he had not been looking, but Nix did not notice it until Italy. Even then, the thought was only at the back of his mind. He had dropped his plans to visit Tenerife and Morocco so they could concentrate on Italy and making Shay happy. As they visited ruins of great homes and museums, Nix found himself holding her hand time and again, turning her to see some sight.

He found her hand limp for a moment before she would hold his hand back, and the hesitation was something he was not used to. Not from her, at any rate. At the back of his mind, he worried that there was something wrong. He worried, until he felt her squeeze his hand back and talk and relax around him like there was nothing wrong. It was as it always had been between them – a comfortable kind of affection, where there was no room for tension.

They continued sleeping together, knowing that a double bed was cheaper than trying to explain they were traveling together, but were not married or dating or anything of that nature. And Nix could feel it in the way she held herself distant for a long moment when he pulled her close, could feel that there was something growing between them that neither could explain. He felt it in the way he could watch her for hours and never tire of her. And when he breathed in the sweet smell of the thick wave of hair that flowed across her pillow, something in his chest ached, sharp and poignant in its ceaselessness.

He could not shake it and had no desire to, gladly letting himself fall deeper and deeper in love with her. There was a magic in the air as she taught him little phrases in Italian, laughing as he butchered it over and over. She seemed to gain a carefree air as they moved on through the country, ducking under eaves to escape a rain shower, an easy laughter in her eyes as she relaxed.

Two short weeks in Italy changed him. Two weeks with Shay opened his eyes.


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