chicks, pants, showing it all, dancing


See the Shadows of Innocence and Sanity

a shadow of the day

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chicks, pants, showing it all, dancing
From Nix.

The way he is driving makes me feel like we are running from something. Like we are running from the sunrise. I have my chair reclined all the way into the back seat and I can see the dawn beginning to lighten the sky. He has the music playing real loud, like it will keep him awake for longer, and he is driving faster and faster. I think to ask him to slow down, that there is no real rush today, but I think better of it.

He has his demons. I have mine.

He is driving on roads that he knows, roads that I do not normally take. Why would I, when these lead out of the city and along the shore? Why would I, when I am a city boy? I do not know where he is going today, and for once, I do not care.

I lay my head back and look out of the window, watching the sky turn turquoise blue at the horizon, stretching up to darker and darker purples above the car. I cannot remember seeing any stars.

“It is really early,” I say, to no one in particular. I do not know if he can hear me over the radio, but it will not hurt to try. I am tired, but I need to stay awake for a while longer.

“Thanks for riding with me.” He says it softly too, like he is afraid of a conversation starting and breaking the silence made by wheels on pavement and sharp turns and the beach stretching endless beside the road.

I turn again and stare out of the window, the sky showing signs of pink along clouds, like rivers of melted strawberry ice cream left on the sides of a bowl. My stomach grumbles and I wish I had some right now. But I say nothing about it, watching the sky turn a brighter blue with every passing moment.

“I just could not stay there any longer.” He speaks a little louder now, and turns down the radio. “I could not take it.”

I nod slightly, knowing he cannot see me when my head is basically in the trunk and all he can see is the back of my legs shifting and trying to get warm again. A cramp in my leg in this small car would mean the death of me.

“I was so tired. I almost,” he pauses a moment, and the sky is suddenly brighter too, like his words are making the world spin and the sun rise and the sky bright. “I almost said something to them. About how fake they are. I just could not take the backstabbing and the rumors and the gossip anymore.”

I hear him sigh, and he drives faster, knowing the sunrise, the light and bright of dawn is overtaking him, and I can see the light clearly through the front windshield. I tilt my chair up, just a bit, and close the vents on my side of the car.

“I could not take them staring at me anymore, Nix. I…” he shakes his head and stops talking, slowing his speed to something relatively normal as we take another curve.

I do not say a word, nothing, until we pull into a parking lot along one beach. He stands slightly to the side of the car, leaning on it like it is the only thing holding him up in the world. I sit on the hood, the heat of the engine spreading slowly through my body as we watch the last dregs of night disappear across the ocean.

“I get it,” I say. 3 little words to let him know I understand what he means. No one can stand to be in his position for so long. Not with the constant watching and the pressure.

“I am out, Nix.” He stands sharply, and locks eyes with me. “I am out, and I am not taking it anymore.”


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